You’ve probably heard about the hero instinct by now.
There are women who swear by it and how it has tremendously changed their luck in romantic relationships.
The story goes that the women who have learned this secret hold the power to make a man fall head over heels for them and never want to leave. These women have learned how to trigger a man’s deepest desire, without them even being aware of what is happening.
Sounds like magic, right?
Well, it’s not magic, nor luck or fiction. The hero instinct is about science. The science of how men are biologically and psychologically wired.
You know how the saying goes, men are from Mars and women are from Venus. There are crucial differences between men and women. By acknowledging these differences, you will have gained the key and lock to a man’s heart. It will be yours for life.
And you’re in the right place to learn all about what the hero instinct is and how you can trigger it in a man. So go on and uncover this secret.
What is the hero instinct?
The hero instinct is a concept used in relationship psychology that addresses a man’s biological drive to care for and protect the people around him.
This primal drive is heightened in romantic relationships.
Relationship expert and psychologist James Bauer was the first to discuss the hero instinct concept in his groundbreaking book “His Secret Obsession”. Bauer worked as a relationship coach for over 12 years.
During that time, he helped thousands of women tap into their man’s biological drive and build loving, lasting relationships, even when the relationship seems like it may have lost its spark – all by knowing how to trigger the man’s hero instinct.
So, the hero instinct is proved to be a scientifically legit concept. It is an instinct that all men possess.
A 2018 study found that testosterone, the main male hormone, makes men protective over their significant other and ignites a deep urge within them to keep their mate safe and take care of their wellbeing.
Therefore, according to the hero instinct, men want to feel needed by women. It is their biological need to provide for the woman in their life and feel appreciated for their efforts.
This instinct is a deep desire ingrained into a man’s DNA and the biggest psychological secret to winning a man’s heart.
Why should you trigger a man’s hero instinct?
Simply put, the women who know how to trigger a man’s hero instinct and make them feel like everyday heroes can earn their undivided attention and love, for life.
Otherwise, men won’t feel like they play an essential part in their woman’s life, leaving them feeling emasculated and losing interest in the relationship.
Have you noticed in your past or current relationships that after some time the man starts to lose interest, doesn’t prioritize spending time with you anymore, has grown distant, or stops talking about a future together? If so, these are all signs that he’s missing something from the relationship.
Learning how to trigger his hero instinct can help you prevent this. Something so simple has the power to transform your relationship and keep him from losing interest in you.
Therefore, at its core, triggering a man’s hero instinct is a roadmap on how to keep him interested and become emotionally attached to you. In turn, this will help him reach his full potential as a man and see you as “The One”.
5 ways to trigger the hero instinct in men
While the hero instinct is an innate trait that all men possess, you will need to put in a little effort to trigger it and win his heart.
But how can you trigger his hero instinct?
This won’t require you to play the damsel in distress or assume traditionally outdated gender roles. You can still be a strong independent woman and make your man feel like an everyday hero.
Here are the 5 main ways that will help you trigger the hero instinct in men.
1. Make him feel needed
This can be as simple as asking him for help with things like changing a lightbulb or carrying the groceries – you know, the stereotypical manly things.
These small things will make him feel useful and needed, and in turn, trigger his hero instinct.
That doesn’t mean you should act like you’re helpless just to make him feel better. It’s okay to be a modern and capable woman and still ask for help from time to time.
The hero instinct is about the urge men have to step up for their woman and make her life better. Let him take care of you and show him that he’s needed.
2. Show your appreciation
A “thank you” goes a long way.
Research shows that gratitude strengthens and increases satisfaction in relationships. It also helps with maintaining your relationship by positively affecting conflict resolution and starting a cycle of mutual appreciation – the more you appreciate him, the more he will appreciate you.
As the mutual appreciation grows, so will his attraction and love for you.
So, make sure to show your appreciation for all that your man does for you, even the little things like helping you open a jar. A thank you and a smile will be sure to trigger his hero instinct.
And the more appreciated he feels, the more encouraged he will be to do more for you. It’s a win-win.
3. Tell him how happy he makes you
Men care more than just about helping and protecting their women. Above all, they do everything to make you happy.
Words are powerful and men are not mind-readers. So if he makes you happy, make sure you tell him so.
Let him know that his efforts are not for nothing, he’s the reason for your happiness and no one can make you as happy as he can. This will surely make him feel like your hero.
4. Boost his confidence in front of his friends and colleagues
Studies on the neurobiology of human behavior have found that we, humans, are social creatures. We seek validation and respect from the group. This is true, especially for men.
Heroes are recognized and praised publicly. So don’t only show your appreciation for him in private. Make sure to sing his praises in front of his friends and colleagues in order to trigger his hero instinct.
At the same time, it is important that you do not mock or belittle him in front of his peers (nor in private). No one wants to stay with a person who treats them without respect.
5. Build him up
While men typically take on the supporting role in a relationship, they also need to feel supported.
Even though they are less likely to show vulnerability, men also need someone to be there for them and encourage them to pursue betterment.
You can show your support by giving him the time and space to pursue his hobbies, celebrating his successes, complimenting him on his achievements and positive qualities, as well as making him feel desired.
This will boost his confidence and he will feel that being with you allows him to be the best version of himself. And he will never want to leave you.
The effects of not triggering the hero instinct in your man
Ultimately, the hero instinct is an innate biological need that all men have, their “secret obsession” to feel like everyday heroes, even though they might not be aware of it.
The majority of the women are also not aware of the hero instinct. But those who are have found the secret to understanding how men are wired and how to trigger his instinct to build happy relationships.
Basically, men are wired to protect and provide for their partners. If he feels like he’s not able to do that, he will be left feeling emasculated and not valued. That’s the main reason why men pull away.
While he will love you for being a capable and independent woman, if you act like you don’t need him at all, this will scare him off. If a man doesn’t feel essential to you, he will lose interest.
These wrong behaviors on a woman’s part can be disastrous for the relationship.
That’s why the hero instinct is such a crucial concept to make a man fall deeply in love with you and to never want to be with anyone else.
As we discussed, feeling needed and appreciated by their woman is a biological instinct that all men have.
It’s the law of nature.
Women who make an effort to understand the hero instinct are the ones who are more likely to build committed and loving relationships in the long run.
And the ones who don’t embrace this concept will fail to keep a man from losing interest in the relationship and will be left wondering what went wrong.
Something so simple can be the key to your happiness.